No-Pants Party

Now, I would say that I’m starting the no-pants revolution, but after a little bit of diligent, pantless research, I’ve discovered that such a revolution is not only underway, but thriving to boot.

I’ll throw it out there: I hate pants. They’re rigid, constricting and an evil invention forced onto us by societal “norms” and what some people like to call “convention.” This isn’t to say I’m so into other acceptable options, like skirts, because I’m not really feeling those either (although they are a step up from pants). I’m talking one-pieces. Call them what you will. Rompers. Jumpsuits. Leotards. Preferably if they have spandex. The index of how much I love the outfit involves a directly proportional relationship between spandex and fun.

Recently I’ve found some viable options from American Apparel. My go-to source for everything pantless and also for everything awesome. Here are a few of my favorites:

Nylon Spandex Mico-Mesh Bodysuit in Black

Cotton Spandex Jersey Strapless Ruched Bodysuit

Tri-Blend Halter Romper

Now, as you can see, American Apparel is clearly promoting the “wear pants, have more fun” mentality of which I am a hardcore devotee. What really trips my trigger though is that there aren’t more retailers and designers jumping on this bandwagon o’fun.

I would love for every single woman on the planet (men, you’re next) to experience the freedom of not having to put on pants. You can’t wear a one-piece and not have fun. It’s almost like how you can’t watch Rock of Love and not vomit. It’s inevitable, it’s unexplainable, and it makes you feel like you need a drink.

As you can see in figures 1-4, she is whole-heartedly embracing pantless freedom. She looks happy, carefree, and just a little bit sexy. As opposed to figure 5, in which she is wearing pants, and looks like she is almost distraught, literally pushing the world away as if saying, “Please, don’t look at me, I’m hideous.”

Act fast and pick up your pantless gear, the revolution is coming.