Remember when you used to have tea parties as a young child, but only served water instead of real tea? These days, children are developing more discerning palettes; serving triple distilled antioxidant-infused alkalised water is all the rage at toddler tea parties, I hear. Gone are the days of Lunchables and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in school lunches. If it is not freshly ground almond butter and farm-to-table fruit preserves on sprouted living grain bread, your child will call social services, and that call will no doubt be made on their iPhone.
Sophie demands kale chips over Cheetos in her school lunch, and scoffs at the children who drink juice out of the vending machine. Her juice is always fresh pressed with no added sugar, obviously. She is judging you as you consume preservatives, and when it comes to playtime, she’ll settle for none other than these designer teddy bears.
