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15 Reasons You Need A Unicorn On Your Back

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True Life: I Used to be a Unicorn

They’re cute, they’re cuddly and only a virgin can tame ‘em. Here are 15 real reasons you need a unicorn on your back.

Cooperative Plush Animal Backpack [$39.00, urbanoutfitters.com]

1. Unicorns are chic.

2. Have you ever seen a unicorn in US Weekly’s Fashion Police?

3. The unicorn is a legendary animal from European folklore that sometimes has a goat’s beard.

4. People might think you’re a virgin if you’re wearing a unicorn.

5. Unicorns symbolize purity and grace.

6. Lady Gaga likes unicorns.

7. Lady Gaga is a unicorn.

8. Unicorns make great pets.

9. Every guy wants to bone a girl who owns a unicorn.

10. Unicorns can’t get knocked up.

11. They can heal syphillis.

12. Possessing even a fragment of a unicorn’s horn could prolong your life.

13. All unicorns hail from India.

14. But they look like white people

15. A true unicorn will always have your back, no matter what.

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